A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains." 　A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago." 　一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”   一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”  

 A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months. 　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase. 　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last." 　　有一个人很粗心，老是打烂东西。他已失业好几个月了。 　　最后他在一个瓷器店找到了一个工作。可是才干了几天，他就打烂了一个很大的花瓶。 　　经理把他到办公室去，告诉他每个星期都要扣他的工钱，直到赔偿够了为止。他就问：“那个花瓶值多少钱?”经理说：“值500美元。”他很高兴地说：“啊!太妙了，我非常高兴，终于有个稳定的工作啦。”

 A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. 　The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.   Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"   一名新警察与老警察开着警车第一次出去巡逻。 他们得到命令去疏散一群闲逛的人，于是他们开车去了那条街，看到路口站着一群人。 　新警察摇下窗户：“大家注意了，快离开这里。”人们看了他几眼，没理他。他喊起来：“离开这里，马上离开!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威胁下还是离开了。 　新警察对他第一次执行公务的结果很满意，对老警察说：“我干得怎么样？”“你做得很好，”老警察笑着说，“尤其是在公共汽车站。”

 一烫发师傅把一个卖糖葫芦的给揍了，到了警察局警察就问烫发师傅：“为什么你要揍那个卖糖葫芦的？”烫发师傅说：“我在屋里烫头，他在外面一个劲的喊：烫糊喽！烫糊喽！我能不揍他？”

 彻底被车上的两个吵架的雷倒了，女：“你他妈的摸谁呀？”男：“谁他妈的摸你呢！ ”女的说了一句杀伤力极强的一句话，一车人全部憋出内伤：“你他妈的要不要脸啊！我长这样你也摸！ ”我特么的想笑，不敢！

 村里一人买辆电动车，在路上试骑，这时过来一个陌生人，说你这个车挺好看的啊，我能试试吗？然后就让给他试了，然后他慢悠悠地上车，慢悠悠地骑，慢悠悠地。骑跑了。